Frustrated, Convicted, Struggling, and Encouraged

I’m frustrated right now and convicted that my heart in not grateful to God. Christ graciously demands that I give thanks in everything (1 Thess. 5:17). It is a sweet command that I want to obey, but it is difficult for me to do that at this moment. Why? Because my computer is not cooperating with my desires and efforts. I got a new Bible Study program that cost over $150 and it is not being read by this laptop. The installation CD is easily read by my desktop computer, but not my laptop. I don’t know what’s wrong with my disc drive, I tried a DVD right now and it worked fine. Maybe it’s just data disks. Whatever the case, I’ve put so much joy in having and using this Bible program that I’m tempted and failing to obey God at this moment. I want to bang my laptop with my fist. I also feel like getting mad at God. Now I know my desire for the use of this bible program has become idolatrous. The Lord Jesus is kindly teaching me something and telling me like he did last Sunday during the sermon, “Learn from me” (Matt. 11:29).

Ok Lord, I want to learn. I’m convicted of my sin. But I’m still struggling to really be thankful. I’m encouraged that Christ is convicting me and changing my heart at this moment. I’m encouraged that he teaches me and calls me to come to him, rest in him, and take his yoke on me, not my heavy and self-destructive yoke called, “This-bible-program-better-work-for-me yoke.” That will lead only to discouragement, frustration, sin, and rebellion against God. Thank you Lord for teaching me this lesson with this simple bible program. You’re yoke for me is to trust you, thank you, take my laptop into the store I bought it from to ask them to fix it, and then try to install the program again, trusting you, drawing near to you, treasuring you, and thanking you all throughout the process. Thank you Lord Jesus for this valuable lesson, and showing me that you and your ways are more valuable than having my bible program work right now.


About pjtibayan

I love Jesus Christ and live to share life and share Jesus together with First Southern Baptist Church of Bellflower primarily to Southeast Los Angeles County.
This entry was posted in journal, lessons learned, Personal Experiences, trials. Bookmark the permalink.

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