Marriage is not about staying in love, but about covenant keeping – by John Piper

Sermon Notes for “Staying Married is Not About Staying in Love, Part 1” by John Piper


1.      Marriage is God’s doing (4 reasons)

a.      Because it was design in creation as man as male and female.  Genesis 1:27-28

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

b.      Because he personally took the dignity of being the first father to give away the bride (Gen. 2:22).

c.       Because God spoke the existence of marriage into being (Gen. 2:24)

                                                              i.      Jesus believes Moses wrote this and that God spoke

1.      Jesus said, God said, Genesis 2:24 (Matt. 19:

d.      Because in the becoming of one flesh, a man and a woman are experiencing a union that God himself performs (Gen. 2:24)

                                                              i.      Mark 19:8-9.  God has joined those who are married.  Do you feel the weight of that?  It is not man, fiancé, pastor, or parents who join the two together.  God does that.  God is the main actor in the drama.  God joins people together and no man may separate them!  The world does not know this and that is why marriage is treated so casually.  Marriage is God’s doing because it is a one-flesh union that God himself performs.


2.      Marriage is God’s display – There is no other institution of this design as a display of God.

a.      Ephesians 5:31-32.  The one-flesh union refers to Christ and the Church.  In other words, when God planned man as male and female, he patterned it on Christ and his bride the church.  It wasn’t from marriage to Christ and the Church, but from Christ and the Church to human marriage.

b.      All marriages are meant to point to the dying love and eternal union of Christ and the Church for the glory of God.  The magnificence of husband and wife is to say, “That’s true!  That’s true!  And it’s like this!”  This is what we display in our marriages.  It is so tragic when we lie about the nature of marriage to the world in our marriages. 

c.       Marriage is not about staying in love but about covenant-keeping.

d.      Side note: Small sermon hopes – Sermons are building blocks that are changing little by little with God’s grace.  That is the normal effect of hearing sermons week by week. 

e.      Marriage is about covenant-keeping.  There are many wimps in the world.  I am in the business of putting fiber in the back bones of wimps to say to temptation and desires, “You are not my God!  God is my God! Covenant is my life!”

Personal reflections and applications:

1.      I want to take my marriage with my wife more seriously.  I want to fight lust more victoriously.  I want to be able to declare to her and with her, “That’s true!  That’s true!  Christ loves the church and is in covenant with her and it looks like this!” 

2.      I want to focus more on Christ and the Church in my marriage.  I want to think about it more and worship God more for that reality as I see it and think about it in my marriage.

3.      I want to take marriage more seriously and really make it a priority to do well in life, without distorting its relative importance to Christ himself and the priorities and relationship order he sets for his followers.

4.      I want to edify my wife more with encouraging and specific words.


About pjtibayan

I love Jesus Christ and live to share life and share Jesus together with First Southern Baptist Church of Bellflower primarily to Southeast Los Angeles County.
This entry was posted in Audio/Video Recommendations, family, John Piper, Messages heard. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Marriage is not about staying in love, but about covenant keeping – by John Piper

  1. Eric Turner says:

    This is true. If marriage were solely about love, I’d probably would have been divorced long ago! There are days I don’t “feel” loved nor “feel” loving toward my wife. But marriage is not about a feeling. It’s about an action – a promise made – a covenant kept.

    C.S. Lewis wrote about the reflection of earthly marriage to that of Christ and the church in his book, “The Four Loves.” It’s a long quote so I won’t bother placing it here, but it begins with, “Christian law has crowned him in the permanent relationship of marriage, bestowing – or should I say inflicting? – a certain ‘headship’ on him…”

    In my copy of the book it’s on page 148-149.

  2. pjtibayan says:

    I praise God you didn’t get divorced! That too, is an expression of Christ’s commitment to the Church. Thank you for sharing and for your additional insight.

  3. Angie says:

    Hi Brother. I too was looking at divorce. Then I took months and years crying, looking and reading through my BIBLE and could not find anything saying that it was okay for me to get a divorce regarding my situation. If I had not been in love and commited to my GOD I really think I would of listened to the world advise and not GOD’s advise.

    I was going through this blog for the first time and this stmt really caught my eye. And I praise GOD everyday now for my wonderful husband.

    Thank you Brother,
    GOD really reminds me of the miracles that HE has done in my life and that nothing is impossible for HIM. And it just reminds me of how much HE LOVES ME!!

  4. pjtibayan says:

    Thanks Sister! I praise God that you didn’t get divorced! That would have been sad for you, your husband, your daughter, and most of all God! I praise God you guys are together as a family for the glory of Christ. Christ loves you more than you know, and it is because you are part of his bride, the Church!

    Tell the family I said hi.

  5. Eric Turner says:

    “If I had not been in love and committed to my GOD I really think I would of listened to the world…”

    There is more truth in that statement then meets the eye. It’s our commitment to God and love for Him that carries us through day-to-day. Honestly, there are days I don’t know if it’s even the love – perseverance might be a good word! I persevere daily. Part of that perseverance is staying committed to God regardless of the situation and circumstances.

    PJ, you got a great blog here. Keep up the good work. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

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