By Randy Newman
(This book was recommended by D. A. Carson for evangelism in the West)
Chapter 2 – Solomonic Soul-winning
1. Avoid an argument
2. Recognize a fool
3. Remember that people are people
a. 9 guidelines for relating to others (from Dale Carnegie’s non-Christian book, How to Win Friends and Influence People):
i. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
ii. Give honest, sincere appreciation
iii. Arouse in the other person an eager want (that’s what a “so-what testimony” can do)
iv. Become genuinely interested in other people
vi. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
vii. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
viii. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
ix. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
4. Remember the power of the tongue
a. Don’t remain silent because that is also a superficial listening and relating to people.
Basically meet the person where he is at and don’t force him to start where you want him to start. “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive” (53).
Chapter 3 – How do questions pave the way for answers?
- Wake up the person – ask: “Really?” or “Do you really believe that?”
- Two things can’t be true – ask: “Can you explain that [your statement] to me?”
- Some things can be partially true – Ask: “So?” (So what if that part of that view is true?)
- Some things might be true – Ask: “Isn’t it possible that…” A question to help if they don’t see the possibility is, “Would you like there to be…?” or “Would you like it if…?”
- Somebody sees the whole elephant or we can know truth – Ask: “How do you know that?” or “What makes you believe that?” or “What convinces you of that?” or “What is the strongest case for that?” or “Has someone persuaded you of this perspective?” or “Have you read some things that have sold you on this?”