Quote by D. A. Carson (For the Love of God, vol. 1, September 29, emphasis mine):
“Even the finest of our Christian leaders commonly display faults that their closest peers and friends can spot (whether or not the leaders themselves can see them!) This should not surprise us. In this fallen world, it is the way things are, the way things were when the Bible was written. We should therefore not be disillusioned when leaders prove flawed. We should support them wherever we can, seek to correct the faults where possible, and leave the rest to God–all the while recognizing the terrible potential for failures and faults in our own lives.”
There are lessons for the leader and the follower here. First the leadership lessons:
1. Leaders should seek accountability regularly and receive observations from others eagerly to see flaws in his/her own life.
2. Leaders should thank those who make those observations for caring for them enough to make them.
3. Leaders should put their confidence in Christ because they themselves are flawed and inadequate to lead on their own and need Christ’s work applied to them, even for them to change and grow.
4. Leaders should be humble, because they know they are flawed, even if they themselves cannot see it.
Five Lessons for the follower (taken from the end of the paragraph):
1. Do not be disillusioned when you see flaws, even big flaws in your leader(s). Expect that in this fallen world where sin is still present and wields some power.
2. Support the leader(s) wherever you can. This means you affirm your support and express it to your leader(s). Affirm when they do well or are in the Christ-exalting path.
3. Seek to correct the faults in your leader where possible. This means you cannot be passive and frustrated but you and I must speak up! Not only do you need to speak up, you need to lovingly communicate directly to the leader. This is not the time for gossip or venting frustrations to whomever comes your way. We should humbly state our observations to our leader, for our leader’s consideration. Along with this we should suggest possible solutions to the flaw/problem to show we care and love for them and for God’s glory in their life, even if they end up taking a different solution.
4. Leave the rest to God. Do not get frustrated and impatient where you demand you leader’s immediate turnaround as if he/she is not in need of the grace of God in Christ for the change to occur. Plant the seed, pray for the leader, and wait on God. One should not do this without lovingly communicating the flaw/fault to the leader.
5. Recognize the terrible potential for failures and faults in your own life. Remember that you are also living in the fallen world, have blind spots, and struggle with sin and temptation. This will keep you humble and help you to not to sound (or be) harsh.
My observation is that CFBC (myself included!) fail in number 3. We tend not to communicate directly to the leader (be it pastor, husband, teacher, elder, parent) but remain frustrated when we see the flaw and then either become bitter or indifferent and just accept it for what it is. This is sinful my brothers and sisters. We need to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So we should humbly and lovingly speak up to those who need to consider what we observe in their lives. May God grow me and all of us in being good followers of Jesus. Failing to do numbers 3 or 4 lead to two opposite errors: (1) if you fail to communicate directly to the leader and just say “God is sovereign and in control and there’s nothing I can do about it so I’ll just be quiet” (which tends to be my error) then we don’t say anything to the leader and grow in frustration or in being indifferent. (2) If you fail to trust God and leave the changing to him and only communicate the error/flaw and demand change in your time, you will rebel, leave, and get angry at the error/flaw that needs to be changed as if the world and change has to happen on your time and not God’s. So to be humble and obedient, you need to be patient and communicating. This is a better way to love and follow leaders than to be silent and frustrated or demanding and impatient. And most importantly, this way of following leaders who are flawed shows that we fundamentally follow Jesus as our leader because in this way we seek to honor and glorify him.
PJ -
I do agree with you that we should follow our leaders and understand that they are not perfect people but are sinners just like us. But my question is in regards to your observation. I am confused because what I have heard and maybe learned is that we shouldn’t rebuke our elders, pastors, parents because they are above us, leaders. I remember that there’s a passage in the bible that says not to rebuke your elders on your own but bring others as witnesses…I could have read that passage wrong but that’s my understanding. And isn’t telling our parents their sin sort of dishonoring them. I’ve heard that you can suggest their faults but not rebuke them because they are the leaders and we are to submit. Even in the marital relationships since the wife is suppose to be submitting to the husband not leading the husband. Please correct my understanding on this if I am wrong. Thanks
Geneyem
Geneyem,
Thank you for the comment and question. That is a good point and needs to be further clarified. Let me attempt to do so. The passage you have in mind is 1 Timothy 5:19. And you are absolutely right, one does need to honor their leaders. But you said, “I’ve heard that you can suggest their faults but not rebuke them…” And that is what I’m calling you and all the members of the church to. Stating observations in humility and in honor, but it is not honoring to be silent or vent to someone else when there is a genuine need the leader has that God is calling you to meet through straightforward, humble, honest, and honoring communication. Does that help?
It may in some cases be too much to keep pointing out errors of those who are supposed to be over you in the Lord. They often know their faults before you know them. They do hear from God on things. And if they are really in need of the followers pointing things out to them, too much, this may give the impression that ” if they can’t see what you see, before you see it then maybe they are not to be really trusted as our leader. I feel that this advice has a a degree of value, but it would be good to be temperate in correcting leaders too much. We can go overboard and be actually out of out places as followers if we go to fare with this. God did not give the followers the oversite of the leaders, but he gave the leaders oversite of the followers.
It’s certainly wrong to go overboard and correct “too much.” But what is too much? My experience is that leaders are not corrected enough. And for me, as a pastor, if one of my members was correcting me “too much,” then I should thank God for the opportunity to shepherd and disciple the member in learning when too much is too much, how one should go about correcting, and when one should let it go. That is a good opportunity as a leader to actually lead. I’d rather encourage the members to come to me, and they come too much, then that they don’t come at all and are frustrated. If they come too much I can lead them, if they don’t speak up at all I can only guess.
Does that help? What do you think?
it’s hard to be a leader…it’s hard to be a christian…it’s hard to take up our crosses daily and follow our Savior…and die to ourselves…
love you thank you for seeking to love us in stirring us to live excellently for Christ.
Peter,
Thanks for the clarification…another question. How do you “suggest” a fault to a leader w/o being a “rebuke?” I think this is why I don’t speak up because I’m not sure how to go about doing this without dishonoring the leaders. It’s hard because sometimes the “adults” whether its a leader or not react in a way that shows that you have disrespect them or dishonor them when you tell them their faults. Yes that could be on them and their heart issue, but it’s just hard to find that fine line of suggestion and rebuking. Do you have any suggestions regarding this?
G,
Another good question. My suggestion is to take the inquisitive approach. That means ask a question rather than state a conclusion. For example, you could say to your pastor, “Pastor Ed, maybe I’m misunderstanding something or not seeing the full picture, but I saw you do _____ and I wondered what you thought about that, if anything?”
The particular examples can be multiplied. The point is that you are humble, inquisitive, and sensitive to the leader’s particular character and personality as you approach them in order to serve them. I’d also want to make it clear to the leader that I’m desiring to serve them and love them in this instance of asking the question or stating the observation.
More examples could be given, but does that help?
One more comment: Our submission to our leaders is only an expression of our greater submission to Christ. If submitting to our leader means not submitting to Jesus, then we will sin and destroy the purpose of submission. Therefore, any idea that causes us to not submit to Jesus (like if Jesus tells us to confront sin or be honest) in the name of “submitting to my husband/pastor/parent” must be reassessed. You should be careful, however, to be certain that Jesus is calling you to do something that is against your leader’s lead.
Peter,
that makes sense…its how you say it and what you say that really is important. I think if we are to approach the leaders with anything that we have observed that may be sin then we should think through it first and really think through what we want to say rather than just blurt it out at the moment. Many times it comes out the wrong way which may sound like dishonoring them and what you say is not clear. Thinking through what you say is very important…thanks for the dialog.
nice article, you have talked about god, about leader, about follower but not talked about the love force as between leader and follower relatiobship, my question is how love effects this relationship, and how fear damage this relationship? Thanks.
The love force? Love effects the relationship by being the source and goal of the relationship. Love causes one to seek good in the leader and thus state one’s helpful observations and love aims at the leader’s ultimate good in the situation. Fear can damage the relationship if by fear you mean lack of trust in the person. Fear will cause the follower to be silent and not helpful to the leader with the observations he has.
Does this help?
Thanks. PJ. ITS GOOD. AT LAST I NEED TO SAY ONLY LOVE IS REAL.
Meeta,
What do you mean by only love is real? Is faith real? Is pain real? What do you mean? I’m curious.
This is a great article and I have forwarded it to my church’s mailing list. If every church leaders and followers do this, the church is going to be very healthy and God will be glorified through all ages!
what is a being a good leader?
I enjoyed reading the article. I am a Pastor and I totally respect everything stated. I have learned that as a leader we have to confess up. That means that just like anyone else we ‘do’ have flaws and issues and I do not confess to my sheep if at all possible, but I have accountability over me that I confess to and allow to pour into my life. It takes maturity to truly go to a leader in love and make or call corrections, unfortunately everyone is not there, so its important for a leader to have a system in place that can aid in guiding them in the right directions without major judgments.
But I do agree that as a leader, we have to be open to accountability even to the sheep we tend. It’s just that when we tell people to go to their leaders, every sheep do not have the maturity to love, honor and go to their leader without major judgments. Some sheep view their leader too high, higher than God intended for leaders to be taken. We are accountable to each other, and YES, if you see flaws or questionable character in your leader, then please…pray, seek God’s guidance and approach them in love…but don’t be afraid to approach them as we ALL are a work in progress. We must help each other finish the race.